Dragons and Butterflies

Once upon a time, when the thought of children was a far off fantasy, I dreamed of little boys ( in a totally innocent, non creepy way). I grew up in a house where my mom and I were outnumbered and I always found it easier to get along with boys because girls were always dressing up like brides and talking about boys. I was more often breaking out my STNG action figures or playing Ninja turtles with my brothers. Also, girls never got  the geek references I was using even then. In high school I had the same problem forming lasting friendships with girls, so when the ultra sound tech told us we were having a girl my first reaction was " oh well." All around me my few female friends, and even some of my male friends, were going bonkers because I was having a girl, but I was not impressed. Yes, I'll admit, little girls cloths are cute and all, but what does a geeky tomboy know about raising a girl?! Fast forward five( nearly six) years. I am beyond happy to have my little Han in my life. She is every bit the action adventure girl I was, while ever reminding me that I am a GRRRL. But there is another side to raising a daughter. My son will have little issue in the world, being a handsome white male with a great big brain. I will raise him to be respectful of others and from his Dad he is already learning how to treat woman kindly and honestly. I would love to think it would be exactly the same for my little girl, but even here, in the good old US of A, woman are not equal to men. She will meet assholes, perverts, and dick heads, but that's not even the worst of it. One of the biggest reasons I have had trouble really enjoying the company of other woman is the innate desire to compete. As girls we are inundated with ideas of the prettiest girl being the best, and even though I have tried to provide a balanced view to my own daughter she still has picked up on these ideas.

" Lets play a beauty contest to see who's prettier" WHAT!?! I'm with Mrs. Obama on this one, we are all pretty. We are all on the same team. In a world that pits woman against woman the truth is we, as a sex, are globally under rated. Already she is faced with people only commenting her beauty. Everywhere we go  she hears it " oh you're so pretty" " you should be in commercials" "wont she be a heart breaker." I fucking hope not. What kind of thing is it to wish on a beautiful person that they should hurt those that might love them? So how does one combat the stream of pretty princesses and digitally remastered magazine covers? We go climb rocks, that's how, and dig in the mud and paint our faces with war paint and find our inner Amazon. My daughter will be a tall, beautiful woman with a smile that will stop hearts, but it is far more important that she will be kind, caring, intelligent, understanding, adventurous and BRAVE! We must raise our daughters to be woman and not pretty girls, to stand by their fellow woman and becoming stronger for it. Will I be able to fight the onslaught of hormonally induced self loathing that is inevitable when she approaches puberty, maybe not, but when she comes out the other end it is my greatest hope that she will look into the mirror everyday and see an intelligent, strong woman who happens to be very pretty and not a pretty girl who is intelligent and strong. Also that she knows that its still ok to put on a princess dress and a tiara, its just more fun to don armor and chase dragons.